I am truly exhausted. 

from all this trying to fix me 

and fix shit i broke and I really have no capacity to take 

anymore pain at this point

Im just so hurt yo. I really am. but Im gonna be better. I really dont have a choice. I am not ungrateful, I am just unsure. about alot. and I would like to be sure of more.

but I cant. 

so in the mean time I will try to let go and peel this weight off of me before it destroys everything.

”/ i dont even know what writing this here may accomplish for it, but it is out of my mind now. and that makes me feel a little better